Overloaded.

The not very good day in the end.

Sensory overload.

Today I had to deal with several of my main avoidance issues. 

First and foremost being telephones.  I loathe them with a hateful passion that encompasses the universe. First call was to Red Cross Transportation to go to my doctor appt next week. So I had to be up before 8:30am. And was stuck on hold for awhile there. (i'm not very patient sometimes), Got my ride scheduled and all good so far, then...... My son traded up to a newer, better model on his cell phone, we didn't have to pay anything since he had a substantial account balance. It worked out well. 

The phone came by Fed-ex today (only sent the order in on sunday evening) So super quick service. Following the directions exactly and after 10 tries of doing the exact same thing I finally got it active.. Now all that's left is the programming. ARGGGGGGH.

I love techie things. They usually make me happy. This time all I got was more frustration. Finally I got the basic info set up and phone works. He's happy camper. That crisis solved.

Then it was time for my phone..... I have one of the free govt phones.  First thing first. They are not the latest iphone or smart phone. If you actually think the govt is going to hand out for free, high tech stuff to poor people you have no clue how the govt works.

You get a $10 trac-phone. No camera, no net, no apps, no touch screen, nothing but text and talk.  When I first got mine I noticed a little glitch but didn't say anything because I was just grateful for the damn thing. (son pays for his own out of his money, but I can't afford a cell myself) Well after almost 5 years the glitches have gotten worse. The screen will freeze at random times. Even when unplugging it from the charger it'd freeze, middle of a phone call.... freeze. Playing crappy game....freeze. Oh and it totally would drop calls, and the battery would sometimes hold a charge and sometimes it wouldn't. I could have it charging for 2 whole days. Take it with me to go shopping and before I'd need to make a call to get our ride home the thing would be drained. So yeah glitchy phone all around.

I'm on the phone again... (oh god i hate that thing) and I got a tech support of the kind I really hoped to avoid.( the rapid speaking non-native english speaker) I swear to god I'm not prejudice at all, I just have trouble with hearing and understanding heavy accents. I think it goes along with my SPD. Plus they really do talk too fast. I was apologizing all over the place for not understanding him. He was really trying. I think we got it all straightened out and I'm getting a new phone since this one is not only glitchy it's out of date, they don't even make this particular model any more. So yay new phone. 

But I was burnt out and exhausted just trying to deal with all this. So I just sat back and chilled for a bit. I decided to do more research on SPD and aspergers, including taking several online tests.  All so I do indeed have some level of aspie aspects. 

Well then..  Something I need to talk about with my psych when I see her next month.   

I can see all the signs now, looking back on my life. I can see all the key points. Everything was pointing at it all those years ago, but that was a time when psych and nonscientific things weren't really investigated. It was better to just think of the kid as odd or a weirdo. Unless it was a more visible psychological condition.

Okay test are just a jumping point, I know they're not conclusive diagnosis just a guideline. I'm kinda glad to know this might be part of my problem.

Things went smoothly for the most part, had one of my tumblr and dA followers tell me I was posting too much of the same drama over and over.  Oh well.... It's my blog, I'll blog what the hell I want to. Just a mild irritation again.

Then the sky erupted. One of the neighbors decided to shoot off fireworks. Big, prolonged, loud fireworks for over 20 minutes. I jammed my ear buds into my ears and cranked my media player up to max and slammed the side of my fist against the wall. I could still hear them  I was soon a sobbing shaking mess. My son handed me a bunch of tissues and asked if he should leave the room for awhile. I shook my head no. I think him leaving would have made it worse. When I'm having a melt down, do not touch, do not talk to me, don't try to make me laugh. I absolutely can not process any more sensations.  I had already taken a xanax so couldn't take another. 

Now it's about 2 hours later and I'm finally calming down. I can feel my muscles still fairly rigid, I've got a blistering headache and an occasional tear will slip down my face. But I'm no longer hysterical. Just exhausted and shaky. 

I think I need t get noise cancelling headphones instead of just the plain earbuds. Here's to hoping that tomorrows a better day.