I have some really funky dreams when I'm in pain or not feeling well.
I just woke up from a nap with the dream still on my brain which means to me it was going to be a whopper.
I've had the kind where my son has shook me awake saying I was screaming or moaning in a strange way. I can pinpoint where in the dream that, that happened.
Most of the screaming dreams are about my family that treated me so horribly. I do not have pleasant memories of my family.
This dream I was still taking care of my Grandmother and we were staying at my one aunt's house. (I hate this aunt most of all) As usual I'm doing all the work around the house plus taking care of Gran. Well one of the cousins was supposed to make dinner and didn't. Of course I got blamed. They made something for themselves and sat around the table eating and gossiping.
I overheard them talking about me, (for some reason I was building a doll house) They all began to laugh and say how I should give up that silly hobby. I stood up and went to confront them only I couldn't speak.
That actually use to happen too. When I needed to stand up for myself I'd be unable to say anything. I now know that it's part of my ASD/SPD. But then it was just embarrassing and they'd mock me for it. I always ended up just crying, and did so in this dream too.
I really hate these dreams. They remind me of how shitty my life growing up was.
It's no wonder that I'm as screwed up as I am.
It explains why I hate myself so much.
