UGH! That last post was just so..... depressing.
Yeah I have huge emotional turmoil and a gaping chasm for self esteem but I think I might have drifted over into nihilism just a bit too much.
I truly do play the martyr so well, it comes naturally to me any more.
My issues do seem to pop up on a regular basis right before my appts. That seems to be showing me how much I need those sessions.
I'm amazed at myself. I haven't turned into a blubbering mess in one of my sessions yet. Yet hearing fireworks and loud noises cause me to want to hide in the deepest part of my basement. Any other therapy I'm be bawling my eyes out by now.
I just feel kinda stuck in neutral. I don't or can't cry. Except for traumatic things, or puppies and kitties on tv. Head sessions..... MEH!
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